My corpse will be drunk at my funeral
because it will have social anxiety disorder.
It will drink half a bottle of mezcal with a lime
and a six pack of pbr
so that it won't be anxious at its funeral.

During my funeral
the mourners will approach my drunk corpse's coffin
and give my drunk corpse a fist pound
and say, "fuck yeah, dude!"
or give my drunk corpse a chest bump
and say "right on, bro!"
then take a beer bong.

My drunk corpse will be alright with this
because it will be drunk and giggling
and not anxious.

After the funeral is over
no one will remember
to take my drunk corpse's coffin
to a graveyard.
My drunk corpse will not mind
and will drunkenly rot alone
instead of being buried
because there is no such thing as a hole in the ground anyway
there is only such a thing
as earth temporarily displaced.